Cooking with Jack #29: “SALAD NIGHT!”

This blog is dedicated to spreading the truth about Jack Scalfani, a child abuser and racist who has run up modest celebrity on the internet through his “Cooking with Jack” youtube channel. For a long but by no means exhaustive list of what Jack has done, please see this post.

Originally uploaded: 19 July 2009

Comments: Enabled

Hey, all-caps! I like it! Gives it a sense of urgency. A “let’s get some salad into my fucking family or they’ll die” kind of urgency.

Let’s be serious for a second: Even if it weren’t confirmed by Jack’s second son Jack Jr on a (now-deleted) livestream, it’s painfully obvious Jack only cooks for his show, not for his family. He even ropes his visibly “sick-of-your-shit” mother into this, and takes pleasure in directly doing something she asks him not to! I get that it’s meant to be a “joke”, but this is clearly the reason why his mother sounds so fed up with him. And the rest of his family, for that reason. He’ll do the opposite of what you ask then have a pathetic excuse ready when you rightfully ask him why he did that. To hear him speak you’d know he has a mother complex that would make noted Oedipus Marco Pierre White shake his head, but the way he treats her is just shameful. The poor lady has clearly had a long life of being taken advantage of by her good for nothing brood.

Anyway. What a salad! The first thing we see is that giant tub of butter again. He doesn’t use it, sadly.

At least eating butter by the spoonful is more appetising than raw onions, a tin of baked beans and mayonnaise with a dram of white vinegar. I’m happy to be liberal with the definition of salad, sadly not so liberal as to extend it to “slop”. At least it’s more savoury than tomatoes in water(?). This is the part of the video that really shows just how unfamiliar Jack is in the kitchen: simple concepts like “to taste” and how to translate a recipe you just have a feel for into instructions are beyond him, extending the video to laborious lengths. Jack can’t even stoop to that classic America staple “iceberg covered in ranch”, no, his salad must be devoid of greenery at all costs. I guess it shouldn’t be surprising that this is what counts for “salad” in the Scalfani household (and what counts as being the “nicest guy on youtube”) but it still boggles my mind. 

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