Cooking With Jack #23: ” BIG CITY SLIDER STATION – As Seen On TV”

This blog is dedicated to spreading the truth about Jack Scalfani, a child abuser and racist who has run up modest celebrity on the internet through his “Cooking with Jack” youtube channel. For a long but by no means exhaustive list of what Jack has done, please see this post.

Originally uploaded: 25 March 2009

Comments: Enabled

I’ve never understood the fascination with Billy Mays. Not because I’m above getting enjoyment other than that which is intended out of things that are terrible, I love very much, actually. And I can see the appeal of watching someone who so fully committed to greasing the gears of capitalism with viscera of their own body, it’s just never struck a chord with me. People have tried but normally I just find him… loud.

Anyway the product? Eh. I mean, who fucking cares? Jack’s clearly impressed watching it clear the low bar of “performing it’s intended function”, but isn’t this more work than a normal pan? I suppose that’s why I’m not the target audience for infomercial products, I don’t see cooking as a problem that requires a solution. There’s also another piece of evidence in my theory about Jack having a learning disability: Jack’s outright refusal to read. He attempts to turn it into a joke or a bit, attempting to shift the blame off of himself to men as a gender and finally warns the youtube comments not to chide him for it pre-emptively. I don’t think I cut this out of whole cloth, after all it wouldn’t bother me so much if it didn’t come up over and over again with Jack. He makes a big deal about things most people don’t think twice of, and devoted an entire hour-long video once to how reading is bad and inhibits learning. I am starting to truly believe it’s the root of some of his problems and development issues, though it certainly isn’t an excuse for his atrocious domestic violence history, or for his racist and misogynistic views.

Jack also tries feebly to make the show seem bigger than the tinpot production it actually is, casually mentioning a “producer” and describing how the manager for some company personally sent him a letter. With regards to the former, I don’t think it was meant as a joke. Jack is incapable of subtlety and all his jokes are extremely broad. The latter, well, I think it’s too far in the past for me to dig up but throwing a free pack of rolls Jack’s way after he incessantly harassed them seems likely. After all how would they know who he is prior to doing the video? A final thing that really annoys me is that Jack has not one, not two but three pairs of tongs of roughly the same size up on his magnetic strips. Either Jack felt he needed three pairs of tongs(?) or tongs come in three packs(?!). Either way Jack wasted money needlessly.

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