Cooking with Jack #22: “SLAP CHOP – As Seen On TV”

This blog is dedicated to spreading the truth about Jack Scalfani, a child abuser and racist who has run up modest celebrity on the internet through his “Cooking with Jack” youtube channel. For a long but by no means exhaustive list of what Jack has done, please see this post.

Originally uploaded: 25 March 2009

Comments: Enabled

Consistency with these titles Jack! Jeez, you’ve never had to write a damn thing have you?

Ah, the slap chop, a piece of cheap, hard-to-clean plastic designed to trick the consumer into thinking it’s easier than a fucking knife. It has a lot of similarities with “Cooking With Jack” in that it seeks to engender contempt for cooking in the audience so that it can profit off of it. Both Jack and the Slap Chop promise the world that you’re perfect, it’s the rest of the world that’s wrong: too messy and difficult.  It seems natural that a useless man would be drawn to a useless device. Feel free to take me to task if I re-use that phrase unknowingly, as I’ve a feeling that I shall.

Jack talks about how he hates chopping veggies for thanksgiving, but is this really going to help if you need to chop more than a small handful? Are you seriously going to slap-chop an entire meal’s worth of food in such small portions? And if you’re really, genuinely opposed to chopping, is a food processor too gauche? Sure it takes up space and requires cleaning but at least it’s useful for a number of different tasks, and you can do a great of number of vegetables at one if you so choose. 

This video is a great look at two classic Jack traits early in what we can charitably call his career: The way he despises cookery, and his absurd waste tendencies. All his complaining about how hard preparing food is followed by immediately dumping it in the sink. I don’t think Jack had started to cultivate his image as a hardcore “foodie” (how I hate that word) yet, more a kind of an amalgam of various television presenters. Taking actual pleasure in food and cooking would never  come for Jack, not even in 2016, but here he’s not even pretending.

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