Cooking with Jack #763: “Mr Scrappy – As Seen On TV”

This blog is dedicated to spreading the truth about Jack Scalfani, a child abuser and racist who has run up modest celebrity on the internet through his “Cooking with Jack” youtube channel. For a long but by no means exhaustive list of what Jack has done, please see this post.

Originally uploaded: 22 March 2016

Comments: Enabled

“Okay, so you’re probably wondering what this mess is”

-Jack Scalfani

Truer words, Jack. Truer words.

Honestly the thought of Jack getting his grubby mitts on sous vide (and in classic Jack fashion roughly ten years behind the curve) fills me with giddy glee. True, the most likely outcome is that Jack makes a long, achingly dull video where he ruins a perfectly good piece of meat and says “Wow, great flavour” at the end but I’m allowed to dream. Sous vide is a tool, and like any tool it works as well as you are able to utilise it. Which is to say, the ways in which he could potentially fuck it up are innumerable. Jack also shows us that he’s, um… done some shopping lately, I suppose? Honestly those pots of dust look just vile, and I shudder to think what kind of Mary Shelley-inspired alchemy went into keeping pieces of bacon food safe at room temperature for an indeterminate amount of time. The website makes a lot of bold claims about the specific (unregulated) buzzword nature of their products, as well as being purportedly made by Chef Brien [sic] Seay, information on whom is rather scarce. Honestly the whole operation has a certain dodginess to it, and nothing it says can be corroborated. Just like Jack to buy into yet another scam, just like his love of delicious, mass-produced food expertly seasons with only the finest of laboratory scrapings.

Honestly this sex toy prototype of a product looks like a massive bacteria trap. I’ve never owned, never seen and never known anyone who owned a “garbage disposal” but they seem like a disgusting waste of time. Is putting stuff in the bin really that difficult? Obviously this product isn’t for me because it solves a problem I don’t have (hmm, this seems like it will come up again). I mean it barely solves a problem Jack has, although perhaps his problem is that he doesn’t come into contact with enough dangerous bacteria on a day-to-day basis. Other than shoving stuff down the drain like a frightened drug smuggler in an airport toilet, it functions as a… plug? For your drain? Jeez, Jack, it really doesn’t take anything at all to impress you, does it?

I’m still dealing with family things so if updates are a tad spotty for a while, you know why! Knowledge is power, friends. Knowledge is power.

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