Cooking with Jack #762: “Zelite Infinity Japanese Knives – Product Review”

This blog is dedicated to spreading the truth about Jack Scalfani, a child abuser and racist who has run up modest celebrity on the internet through his “Cooking with Jack” youtube channel. For a long but by no means exhaustive list of what Jack has done, please see this post.

Originally uploaded: 15 March 2016

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Nine years.

Nine long, bitter God-forsaken years as the world burned around him.

Nine years of racist bullying, nine years of hateful misogyny, nine years of convincing others to treat cooking like a horrid chore they should be afraid of.

Nine years of building a cult of personality out of shoving as much food down his gullet as he can manage and setting himself up as a culinary expert.

And he still knows nothing.Still doesn’t have even a tentative grasp of the basics of cooking. How?

I’ll try and get this out before I fully turn into Edmond Dantès. It’s just hard to know where to even start, here. I mean for starters I actually can’t verify any of the things Jack says about the company on their website. To keep this (mercifully) brief I won’t analyse any of it, or waffle about knives, you can get that elsewhere. I try my hardest not to critique Jack’s cooking or technique, I really do. What’s worse is that his dim inkling of what the right thing might be is always infected by his stubborn refusal to not do it, or indeed to get it wrong. It’s two steps forward, ten steps back.

Watching him flail those knives about made my fingers twitch. He just has sparkles in his eyes for expensive packaging and nice advertising copy, and I suppose being thought of as important enough to be sent a free sample was a nice boost to the ol’ Scalfani ego. If I were to speculate, which of course I would never do, but supposing I was one to speculate, I would say that from the severe price reduction on these knives in online shops, the inflated follower to following ratio on the official “@ZChef_Knife” twitter account, that this product is perhaps not performing as well as it could be. Though I’m not one to speculate, it would seem as it sending knives to a middlingly popular dullard is a last-ditch attempt to spur on sales of said knives. That sounds like a very mean thing to speculate on, though, which is of course why I don’t speculate, naturally.

There’s a “Calvin and Hobbes” strip where Calvin is pretending all his toys are converging into one freak megadisaster; that’s how this made me feel. Jack, can’t we play something else?

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